Kalamazoo - by Clifford Mulder (cliffnotes staff writer)
Philip Mulder, a sophomore student at Portage Northern High School, was briefly detained and questioned by four undercover Kalamazoo Public Safety Officers on Wednesday evening regarding the possible purchase of heroin on Kalamazoo's north side. Mulder was seen driving slowly in a 2005 black, Volvo sedan at about 6:25 pm on Wednesday. For about ten minutes Mulder circled the streets on the near north side of Kalamazoo, an area known for drug trafficking. Sargent Joe Friday and Officer Barney Fife noticed Mulder's unusual driving and when Mulder pulled into a nearby parking lot, they approached Mulder's vehicle.
When asked about the reason for his presence in this area of town, Mulder claimed that he was going to the First Baptist Church for a music rehearsal. Noticing a Portage Northern High School parking sticker on the Volvo, Sargent Friday noted that they watch for Portage kids who come downtown to purchase heroin. The officers also questioned Mulder about the registration on the vehicle since the license plate on the car was for a 2001 Ford Taurus, not a 2005 Volvo S80. Upon further questioning, Mulder explained that he was using his father's car and was not aware of the improper registration.
"At first we were certain that Mr. Mulder was trying to buy heroin" stated Fife. "Why else would he be driving slowly on the north side. We thought for sure he was looking for a dealer". Luckily, Mulder was able to show the officers his trombone, music for the rehearsal, and a map from his band instructor to the First Baptist Church. The officers also noticed that Mulder had the book "War and Peace" on the passenger's seat. "When we accessed the entire situation, we realized that Mr. Mulder was simply lost and was trying to find his way to the First Baptist Church for his music rehearsal". Very few teenage heroin users read "War and Peace" added Sargent Friday.
When asked about the incident later, Mulder blamed the entire situation on the fact that he is geographically and directionally challenged. "Knowing my ability to get lost, what kind of parents would put their 16 year old son in a Volvo sedan and send him on his own to downtown Kalamazoo? They could at least give me a GPS to use" pleaded Mulder.
Cliff and Brenda Mulder, parents of Philip, took full blame for the situation. "We should have known better. Philip gets lost in our neighborhood, how was he suppose to find the First Baptist Church in downtown"? "We drove off and left our son Keith in France in 2000, and now we also lost Philip. We have a lot to be thankful for."
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7 comments:
I didn't get lost in France, you drove off without me...
Really, both of these things are Phil's fault. Phil can't find his way anywhere AND Phil was the one who was so clueless in France that he didn't notice Keith wasn't sitting right next to him.
Also Dad-- I have a 2001 Ford Taurus. If the plates are registered to a 2003 Taurus, then that's really weird.
Well, after this experience, I decided to take Bryan and Keith's advice to heart and cut my hair. I figure that it must have been my goonishly long and unkempt hair that made me seem such a suspicious figure.
Great post Cliff! I shared the story with my colleagues at school and they commented on your superb writing skills.
Corrections have been noted and made by the author.
I AM SLOW IN RESPONDING BUT i MUST RECORD HOW VERY IMPRESSED AT PHIL'S COOL REACTION TO THE WHOLE EPISODE. HOW MUCH MORE DIFFICULT IT COULD HAVE BEEN HAD PHIL BECAME DEFENSIVE.
WAY TO GO PHIL, YOU ARE ONE COOL KID. IGNORE YOUR SIBLINGS COMMENTS. GRANDMAS KNOW COOL WHEN THEY SEE IT .
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